I’m an unlikely sex podcaster. Wildly unqualified. I’ve never been in a sex shop. I have no degree in sexology. I’m a middle-aged married mom of two whose work and hobbies generally bore fellow dinner guests, if I were invited to dinner parties, which I haven’t been, of late. Probably because I use terms like "of late."
If you needed no other reason to worry about my bona fides on sex ed check out the birds and bees diagram I made as a child. (and thank you, mom, for saving this in my baby book.) I misspelled "benis." The girl has six limbs. And whatever he’s shooting … she’s shooting them right back!
So qualifications aside, I cannot TELL you how delightful it is to tell people about my work and have them follow me around the aisles telling me stories. I am tickled to pieces that I am of a sudden enjoying a popularity and a touch of scandal that had eluded me before. I may not be any sexier these days but there’s a lot more sex in my day.
Being an older woman is quite freeing in this way. Being interested in the topic of sex is neither sleazy nor pathetic: it’s a little heroic. I’m being cheered on instead of leered at. I’m not looking to get laid, my hope is not to fade!
But why would a strictly vanilla and infamously prudish woman suddenly set aside her more serious projects and take up sex ed? Well, for one thing, because I could use some fun. For another, I am more than a bit pissed off, frankly, that the sexuality of people over 50 is invisible or a punchline. I am saddened that many of my peers have given up the pursuit of happy sex lives. I am concerned to know that so many older people are not practicing safer sex and not advocating for themselves with their doctors.
I’m curious about intimacy and sexuality in the second half of life because we don’t talk about it. We assume people do not feel sexual or that the solution to every problem is simply to look or act younger. I want to know about the advantages to being mature, to empty nests, to self-knowledge. I want to be inspired, to gain richness, and to laugh. A lot.
I have met people over 50 who run sex chat lines, enjoy swinging, yodel about older women, do vulva puppetry, and learned about vajazzling. And I’m just getting started.
The first episode of the podcast is out, and I invite you to be part of it!
Earlier on Huff/Post50: